Torn Page: Not Just a Memory
by Dstar504
Summary: Set after Boook One in the What Could of Been verse, Lulu says goodbye to two of the most important people in her life. Lulu:Wakka and Lulu:Nooj


**Disclaimer:** Not mine, not mine.

**A/N: **This is not a chapter however I think that this is the only Lulu Nooj fanfiction… other than my other one. I AM THE ONLY ONE, I swear I like looked for this paring everywhere and nothing!

**Not Just a Memory**

**TWO MONTHS AFTER THE BATTLE AT ZANARKAND**

Lulu stood next to Nooj on Cid's ship. She was the only one on the ship, minus the crew and Nooj. He was the one who had made her call the ship and made her decide to go where she was going. She hadn't wanted too. Memories were memories, but that's all that they were. It was nice sometimes to think back and smile at the good ones, but when both people she were going to see had died in not so friendly ways, there was no reason to go back. No reason to stir up things that made her want to reach back to where she had once fallen and die, she was fighting the death inside her. But they had come so far together.

After everything had passed and after the battle with Sin she and Nooj had left together. She didn't understand it, but after everything she had come to love this man. And so when he had asked her to come with him, to live with him, it seemed so natural. Just like breathing. She remembered it as if it were yesterday…

_Lulu was in the room she had come to call her own in the airship. The walls seemed so different now that she looked at them as a partially freed woman. The deed wasn't done but Baralai had promised that he would do all in his power to stop the mark of traitor that had been branded into their skin. Now the walls were no longer a prison, a barrier to keep her out. Now they were just walls, painted and metal. _

_Behind her the door opened and she turned to find Nooj staring at her. She didn't say anything, they had never really been alone, everything they had done had been with an audience. And now that he was here with her, the walls that she had just found such comfort in seemed to sallow her up, "I though I would find you here."_

_Lulu fiddled with one of the dresspheres that she was packing to bring back to Besaid with her. She wasn't bringing them all, just the ones that she liked, her Lady Luck one and her Gun Mage. The only two that she really needed, "Yeah… so are you leaving?"_

_He leaned on his cane, and stared at her, "Yes, and you where are you going?"_

_"Besaid. It's where I've lived all my life. Yuna and Tidus will go back there I know it. So I figure I should go there too."_

_Nooj chuckled at that and finally put his cane aside and sat down on one of the chairs that was against the wall in the room. He watched her for a moment and then spoke, "Yuna's a smart girl. With Tidus she should be able to handle herself. She doesn't need any one to watch her any more."_

_She knew this, it wasn't as if Yuna had been pressuring her to go and do whatever she'd always wanted to do now that Sin was gone, but she just felt that she had to go. She had nowhere else to go. So she would return home and deal with whatever needed to be done. That was all she could do, "I know. Yuna's been telling me the same thing. But it's not like I have anywhere else to go. So home it is."_

_She reached over to grab her favorite moggle, the onion knight and felt Nooj's hand grip hers. She looked over at him oddly, and he spoke, "Then come with me. I don't know where I'm going but I do know that I want you to come with me."_

_It was an odd feeling of being wanted that she hadn't felt since the end of the Blitzball tournament with Wakka. And yet with Wakka there had been this looming feeling that no matter what she did she would always be the number two thing in his life. But with Nooj it was different, they were kin. And therefore knew just to help each other survive the feelings of death that crept up upon them every so often., "What about that project that you're working on?"_

_"It can wait. Any way, Gippal is working on it now."_

_She found herself nodding along with what he was saying, "Okay. I'll go with you."_

_He only smiled._

So far they were staying in Kilika. In fact they were thinking of getting a place that they could come back too. Right now Nooj was starting a second faction in Spira known as the Youth League. It was place for those shunned by Yevon, it wasn't against Yevon though. It worked with Yevon to get homes and places for them to stay, in fact it worked most closely with the Al Bhed, who had lost their home. It even surprised her when he had named her co-founder. She hadn't chosen it, had hardly helped. But he had named her it all the same and now she worked side by side with him.

He approached her from behind and looked at her, "I know you don't want to do this but I think it's best for you. As those who seek death we need solace. Thus this is best."

She sighed, "I know." Turning towards Cid, she spoke to him, "Are we there yet?"

The bald man turned to her, "Not yet. A few more minutes."

"Thank you."

Lulu turned to leave and walked back to the cabin and Nooj followed her. Inside she started to strip from her formal attire, which was a black dress close to what she wore during the days against Sin minus the black belt buckles and back into the dress she had worn against Sin with the belt buckles. She thought that it was proper. Nooj looked at her, "You ready?"

She pulled the final strap up, "I guess."

The ship intercom beeped and Cid's voice came over the com, "Were here."

A few minutes latter the bottom of the ship opened and Lulu and Nooj found themselves staring at the entrance to Guadolsam. He took her hand and lead her inside. Inside the place a buzz of activity as Seymour's house was being franticly worked on, "I wonder what's going on."

"Does it matter?"

Lulu shook her head, "No, let's go."

The entrance to the farplane was not blocked by any one and they entered quickly. The steps for Lulu seemed to go on forever and ever. One foot in front of the other and the steps just went on, continuing to taunt her. Finally she reached the top and entered the swirling abyss. Inside the Farplane churned and swirled with dark energy. Lulu stepped back, "Something here is wrong."

"I can tell. This isn't the Farplane I know or have visited."

But it didn't matter to her, different or no she had to do this. Now that she was here she had to do this. She stepped up to the edge and looked into the abyss, and thought of her…

_The beach was cold on her feet. She had been back for only two days, a failure. She had been only ten but she had thought that some how she would be able to protect her. She heard foot steps behind her and a young Yuna came up to her, only five but still able to understand so much, "Where were you sissy?"_

_"Away. Just away."_

_Something about the way Lulu had spoken to her told her even then that something was wrong, "What happened sissy Lulu?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"Where's sissy Ginnem?"_

_"Who?"_

_And in those few seconds her sister disappeared from her life forever. And Yuna never knew who Lady Ginnem was, the girl was forever erased from her life. The shadow sister, never mentioned, never talked about._

In front of her Lady Ginnem appeared and she stepped back and bowed, speaking softly she smiled as her sister looked back at her, "Hey. I've missed you. It's been so long since I've seen you, maybe twelve years or thirteen. Since I've grown a year since Sin. It hasn't been long but I have. You should know, I finally found some one."

The figure remained motionless but still it was worth it, talking like this, "He's nice. I don't know if you'd like him. You were always laughing and talking about how much I would grow up alone if I didn't change my ways. I was only ten but you already knew. You always knew. I don't know how but you did. I think I love you for that."

Behind her Nooj was silent, and let her talk, "So much has happened since you died. Yuna defeated Sin, you should see her. She's so different, not like you remember. You'd think she'd be innocent but she's not. She's grown up into a strong woman. So strong, she was the one who led us after all hope seemed lost against Sin. I didn't know she had it in her. It's funny I never thought that she would be the one to bring about the Eternal Calm. But she did, she beat him, even if it was the man she was in love with. That's right, she's the only known survivor of the Final Summon. Funny how that works, apparently love saved her, which in the end is what kills you. But you know what they say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger…"

At this Lulu laughed, "Sorry I'm rambling. Any what I want you to know it that I'm not going to forget you. Wakka was so obsessed with keeping memories that he didn't understand that you don't have to be obsessed to keep your memories. They just are, and we don't need to live up to them. I love you."

The apparition faded and she sighed, just one more to go. And he had meant so much to her, she remembered him too. And if she had died, she knew that he would have remembered her too. It was odd how that she knew how he felt even in death. She remembered her last true conversation with him, it had been right before he had left…

_"You can't go! Yuna needs you, she needs us!"_

_He looked at her as if he understood, "I have to go Lu. I can't stay, for his sake."_

_Lulu's fist hit the wall and she looked up at him, "You're being selfish. We promised to protect her. We promised!"_

_He c_u_pped her face in her hand and tilted her face toward his searching her eyes for a second and then let his hand drop, "Sorry, I have to go. Love you."_

_She didn't answer, she was just to angry to speak, "Just go."_

_He opened his mouth to say something but she looked at him and he nodded, "I'll always love you. Know that."_

_And he was gone. The next time she saw him he was her enemy. There was nothing left to be said. And then he was dead._

Wakka's form faded into view. And she looked at him, he looked the way he looked before death, the Wakka she remembered, the one who played blitzball too much and laughed at all the bad jokes. She looked over him, the same red hair, the same smile. And some part of her was happy, the other part was angry at him, "I don't know what to say to you. There's so many things that I think you would want to know, and so many things I never got to say… I loved you Wakka. I used to any way… now, now I don't know. I have these good memories. Remember that one time? When we were children and you tried to teach me blitzball and the ball landed to deep in the water? I was scared to go and get it but you talked me into it. That was the day I learned thunder. There were fish in the water and one swam by me and I was scared and then it just happened…"

Nooj made a motion to continue talking and she did, "But then there are the bad memories that just make me so aggravated! You betrayed us, took it into your own hands to kill thousands. And I hated you then, didn't matter if you were controlled. What mattered was the betrayal I felt. You came after us, and for what? For Chappu? You just kept telling yourself that, but I know deep down he wouldn't have wanted it this way; he was a peaceful man who fought for what he believed in. Which makes you a what? You were just a mind wiped drone looking for an out. I knew it, you knew it. How did it feel when you learned you were working for Seymour? Did it hurt? I know it hurt you."

A pause then she continued.

"But then you died. For me, and I don't know what to say or think or understand, how, why, I just don't get it. You were his slave, you were the puppet, and yet watching your body as Tidus came at me, his sword flashing, was horror's beyond horror's. Because somehow you had managed to fight back. When it mattered most, for me. It was for me right? Or did you die because you were in pain? Because you wanted to escape torture? No, we are not alike like that. Your pain is different than mine."

By now she was holding onto Nooj's hand realizing just how much she depended on him, "We both lost family, at different times. But a loss is a loss. I think that's why we loved each other so much, we could see that we were all that we had. But that's not enough to hold people together. You have to truly find someone you love, and I did. I brought him here. I think you already know him, this is Nooj Wakka. And I just wanted you to know about us, because if you didn't know, even if it's not really you I'm speaking too. I don't think I could be okay with this. But you know now, and now… I think I'm going to be okay."

She leaned back into Nooj's arms and the picture faded away. Leaving her to stare into the blackness that had become the Farplane, "Okay, we can go now. "

Nooj nodded and they went hand in hand outside to the world where things were a little dark and a little light. But together they would face this thing and beat it back. Because in the end, Lulu understood now, she was free. No more walls. The prison came tumbling down.

**End**


End file.
